over the past month or so, i have been poring over a book that i discovered when a friend mentioned how helpful it has been for her family. i definitely admire her and was instantly curious, so i searched for it at the library. after reading it a bit and trying out a few suggestions, i decided i needed to purchase a copy and really go after it.
while i have to admit that i do find myself wishing i could have been her editor, i have found the substance of what she has to say extremely practical and helpful.
here is a quick caption of some of the author's words that i found inspiring.
Often we start out with great enthusiasm when an idea is presented to us for the first time. … We happily work towards the new idea or vision.
Soon, the enthusiasm wears off. We start falling back into our old, easier habits. The vision we had before seems cloudy and unrealistic. Reality is what takes our vision away from us.
When one of our foster daughters came to live with us, she did something that others hadn’t done. She spent hours the first few weeks intently watching me. She watched the way I kept house, the way I parented my children, the time I spent reading scriptures and good books, and the way I just lived my life. Finally, one day she said,
“Are you for real?”
“Of course I’m real,” I said.
“But, this is like the Leave it to Beaver show,” she replied.
“I know, isn’t it great?” was my response.
Where did she get the idea that shooting for “real life” was my goal anyway?
My foster daughter’s family told her that people like my family didn’t know what “real life” is. They told her that real life was depression, drugs, drama, and a dysfunctional family life. She really didn’t trust me for a while because our life seemed happy and we loved her. She was convinced our love and happiness was all a manipulation. I suggest that “real life” is supposed to look like a happy family who loves each other, but our society has chosen to believe that drama, drugs, depression, and family feuds should be considered real in order to lower the family bar. It seems to be a common practice to see what is wrong in life and accept it with open arms instead of trying to repair the dysfunction. This paradigm for mediocrity robs excellence and destroys vision. Life won’t be perfect every day, but we should never throw away our ideals and our goals because of difficulties. Goals fuel our souls and lead us to greatness.
Too many people think that our life is about being realistic. It’s not. We are all God’s children and should try to be like him so that we can live with God after this life. Is that a realistic goal for life? No, it is an idealistic goal.
…We need to focus on our vision even when it seems impossible—or unrealistic. Isn’t that what you would tell your son when he dreams of being an airplane pilot and he struggles with math? You would encourage him to never give up. To stay focused on his dream. In essence, you would tell him to shoot for the ideal, because you know that he will never achieve his goal unless he does. …
All people really want the ideal, they just console themselves with thoughts about reality when they are too lazy to try for the ideal or when life gets difficult. Idealism isn’t supposed to stress people out, it is supposed to inspire new commitment each day. If we are focused on the ideal, then each day we can start our ideal picture over again because many days life won’t look ideal.
We need to attack our visions for a family of greatness with the same energy we would encourage our child to have with his vision of being a pilot. It’s hard to live idealistically. I always tell the little children at church that it is so much easier to choose what everyone else is doing, which is the path of mediocrity. It is so hard to choose what is different and right. The only way I know to stay focused and actually achieve goals, is to keep reminding myself what I want my perfect family picture to look like.
